Moving towards Forgiveness

We are finding ourselves in the midst of tremendous change. Those of us in California are struggling with smoky skies, fires, heat and uncertainty. We are being asked to acclimate to life in quarantine, even though we don't really like it much. Like you, I find myself seeking words of wisdom and guidance to help me thrive. I keep a journal of the most helpful ones, both for myself and to pass along to you. Thankfully, there are many of them offered by wise souls who know that this is a time of the Great Turning. I agree with this. As my teacher Hank Wesselman says, we are all involved in creating a new world. We are the transformational community!

Yes, these times are unprecedented. And yes, humans are very resilient if we have the tools we need to look forward instead of backward. The important thing is to find yourself and not let yourself be distracted and carried away by the human dramas that seek to bludgeon our senses and our inner knowing.

I suggest turning off the news. Have a daily practice to keep your awareness honed. Seek out people who have creative ideas about how to navigate times of hardship. Guard against drowning in a sea of negativity. Continue to reach out to your community, even if it's just one person. And most of all, please take this time of isolation to learn to love and forgive yourself and others, because you are important and you are needed right now! The world is crying out for kindness, gentleness, and connection, and that is where people who are awake can be of service.

One way of beginning the process of forgiveness is to take a moment to write down what and who you want to forgive on a small piece of paper. You can write in more detail afterward. Include forgiving yourself. Then, light a candle and burn the small piece of paper, dropping it into a dish of water. Say our loud to yourself: I release the need to know how it will all turn out. I release the toxicity and contamination of holding grudges and judgments. Clap your hands three times to release the energy. Now you can write in more detail as your feelings are freed up. See how you feel afterward.

We are being asked to move out of old patterns of the person we were yesterday, to find gratitude for the simple things in our lives. Through moving from a place of rigidity we can transform ourselves to connecting to the goodness inside of us. We have much work to do, and we can do it together. As Pixie Lighthorse says, Don’t give up before the miracle!

Wishing you peace and safety,

Susan

An Ending is a Beginning

In Buddhist philosophy, one is often directed to return to beginner’s mind. Sitting, breathing, returning, returning. The end is the beginning. The beginning leads to the end, creating a never-ceasing circle - a breath, a moon cycle, a wave upon the shore, a life. It is a good thought to hold on to, even though it is illusive, like holding sand in a bucket full of holes.

It used to be that life was about gathering experiences, always looking for the next one. How lucky were we to drive to a plane and fly to a new destination where we jumped on a train to get somewhere new! To breathe different air, to see different faces, to eat unique food, and to hear different languages spoken! It was a richness that we thought would always be there. That was before the pandemic that brought our lives to a halt. Who knew this would lead us back to ourselves again and again, asking our inner worlds to expand to the size of our outer worlds. And now, those experiences are our bread and butter, served with gratitude. Now, this is what we are being asked to do: to feast on our lives and experiences, our loves and our shadows, the state of our minds and the quality of our friendships. We are being asked to slow down and heal our broken hearts, to look at the monsters under the bed, and find our courage. It’s inviting our helplessness and rage, teaching us that we must dig deep to find our true ways of interacting with the world. Where is our real voice? Where is our will? How are we facing down fear? How strong is our imagination as we envision the world we want to hope for?

The old ways are ending and we don’t know what this means. So what do humans do? Even in isolation we reach for each other. Even in separation we yearn to hug and touch. Even in illness we seek to provide comfort. We choose these things because, at last, we are becoming quiet enough to hear the voice of our souls. There may be an answer and there may not. We don’t know if this ending is a beginning, but our humanness is willing us to find out.

The Unimaginable

Like so many people, I am enraptured by the musical of Hamilton. Seeing it live in San Francisco was one of the last things I did before the quarantine times. I find that I’m treasuring so many things I did before we had to shut our lives down. I’m so glad that I made the choices to see family, to hear music, to celebrate, to go out to eat, and to be with people I love. And teaching face to face. And hugging. Sigh. I’m not pining away for the old days because I truly understand that we’re in a new world now, and I’m certain that hugging will come back, but I’m remembering things that sustained me then and calling on them to sustain me now. This courageous musical is one of them.

Alexander Hamilton’s life was both triumphant and tragic. He was extraordinary and survived terrible circumstances, but he also knew who he was and his place in history. He knew he could make a difference in the new world that was being created. In the second act, his son is killed in a duel and the song The Unimaginable was sung. Throughout all of the grand things that he and others did, it was the personal loss that caused him to find his humanity and empathy. It’s a song of tenderness and kindness, with people urging one another to “have pity on him, he is going through the unimaginable.” It has stayed with me as I hear the daily reports of the Covid virus, the number of people dying, the marches for social justice, the invasion of federal soldiers on the streets of Portland, the debate over wearing masks, and the general disbelief that this is our country. It takes me out of anger and frustration and allows me to hone in on the personal changes that we’re all going through; privileged and underprivileged. We are going through the unimaginable. There are many lessons for us to learn and accept right now. Where do we go with all of this? Do we turn on each other or do we turn toward each other? We are seeing people succumb to fear and anger, but we don’t have to be that person.

The play brings up many of the challenges of how people survived in a very difficult time. For us, we can’t rely on the old ways to handle things. It seems to me that the way inward is the way forward now. In our aloneness, we can get in touch with the feelings of loss, fear, and worry from the daily dose of bad news. We can let ourselves grieve for all of the big and small losses in our lives. We can dig deep and find our warrior selves through our practices. We can provide a haven for our families to share their feelings. We can examine our views on how things “should” be and learn that the old rules aren’t serving everyone. We can share our wealth and support for those who are struggling to survive. Then, we can begin to reach out to others who can help us in some way through emotional support. It’s so necessary to be there for one another now: to create pods of caring, bubbles of communication, circles of outreach, structures of strength, and reliable sources of information and truth.

That is my wish for you in these times - to hold onto hope. We are living in a time of “ambiguous loss” where things are topsy-turvy. We must reach to each other for help and meaning. We’ll have ups and downs and lots of bad days, but there is a deeper spirit that can give perspective. It’s our job now to pay attention.

In community,

Susan